Hut one!
Hut two!
High! Come on, come on! Get open!
Interception!
Touchdown!
We did it, yay!
Pathetic.
Playing all by yourself.
Get some friends, kid.
I'm all in.
Fold. [Grunts]
I'm never playing with you again.
Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com
Check it out. I stole them from the movie theater.
3-d glasses. Ooh.
From now on, I'll take my entertainment
exclusively in 3 dimensions.
Daffy, those only work at the movie theater.
[Indistinct talking]
Whoa. He's so close.
Back off, newsman.
It's not in 3-d.
Whoa!
It's like I can touch you.
Please, don't.
[Doorbell rings]
Ehh, what's up, neighbor?
Whoa!
Ugh. Back to 2-d. What a bummer.
Can I talk to you for a second?
It's my son gossamer.
He's having some trouble fitting in at school.
All the kids pick on him and call him a monster.
Duh. He is a monster. [Whirring]
I try to help him, but he's at that age
where he doesn't want to listen to his mama.
The other day, he called me a witch.
[Whirring stops]
You are a witch.
[Whirring]
Do you need to be doing that right now?
[Whirring]
Anyway, gossamer needs help making friends.
Now, I think he could benefit from a positive male role model.
Could you take him to school tomorrow and maybe talk to him?
[Whirring stops]
You want Bugs to talk to him?
He doesn't know the first thing about making friends.
He was born with friends. He's got too many friends.
The only person who can help a weirdo like gossamer
is another weirdo.
[Clatters]
That's a great idea.
You can take him to school tomorrow.
What? No.
Find another weirdo.
No one helped me out when I was a kid,
so I'm not helping him out.
You know, I'm not always a nice witch.
I'm only taking you to school 'cause I'm afraid of your mom.
Don't open that.
Sorry.
You're a real weird dude.
Sorry.
Why are you always apologizing?
Sorry.
Listen, kid. School is like prison.
And I should know. I've been to both.
You do your time, then you get out.
And if you're lucky, you'll grow up to be as mature
and well-adjusted as me.
Aw, come on.
Move it, lady! [Honking horn]
Just get out here. This mom's taking forever.
I mean, how many kids do you have to have
before you feel like you've got a family? It's irresponsible!
Will you pick me up after school?
Pick you up?
What do you think, I just sit around all day watching tv?
You don't think I have a job or other responsibilities?
My mom says you're a bum
and that you mooch off of Mr. Bunny.
Well, your mom's stupid.
Don't tell her I said that.
[Engine starts and gears grind]
[Horn honks]
Hey, gossamer. [Slaps]
- [Giggling] - See ya later, pal.
[Laughter]
[Bell brings]
Hi, Kyle.
Hi, Jason.
Hi, Emily.
What's up, Trevor?
Hi, Maya.
Hey, Andrew.
[Engine idling]
[Engine shuts off]
Why didn't you defend yourself?
My mom says violence is never the answer.
Well, your mom is wrong. It's almost always the answer.
Don't tell her I said that.
And anyway, I don't know how to defend myself.
Then it's time to go to school.
Not that school.
The school of hard knocks.
[Stammering] Where's Daffy?
He's helping our neighbor's kid.
Try it.
We already got our pizza.
No, try this one.
Well?
I like it.
This one's frozen.
Pretty impressive.
Pretty impressive? It's very impressive.
Let me tell you something, pinky. Uh, it's Porky.
I like to see you make a restaurant-quality frozen pizza.
You couldn't. You know why?
Because it's next to impossible. But I did it.
And now, I'm going to sell Speedy Gonzales' frozen pizzas
in grocery stores all across the country!
What are they doing?
I'm filming the commercial later today.
Hey, you should be in it. Nah.
Come on. You could be the customer.
I--I don't--
- I could play the customer.
Pinky, please. I'm talking to Señor Bugs.
What do you say? Would you be in my frozen pizza commercial?
- Ehh... - I'd love to do it.
Yeah. Just let Porky do it.
Can I at least use your slogan?
- What slogan? - I like it.
When did I say that?
When you tried the pizza.
It's the perfect slogan--
not too much, not too little.
I don't love it. I like it.
It's pizza, man. It's not a new car.
- Whatever. - Oh! Yippee! [Laughs]
Relax, pinky, ok?
It's a commercial, not a movie.
But go see the makeup girl you're just so pink.
I guess that's where he gets his name.
This is the school I graduated from.
[Grunting]
I'm kind of a legend around here.
What's up, man?
I don't know you.
Self-defense is about knowing your strengths
and your opponent's weaknesses.
It's about stamina.
Discipline.
And never...
[Grunts]
Letting your guard down.
Oof!
[Grunting]
Shouldn't we be wearing boxing gloves?
Does anybody wear boxing gloves in a street fight?
Also, there's a $5.00 glove rental fee.
Now, let's get it on.
[Grunting]
I don't want to fight.
Too late. You're in a fight.
And you're already losing. You know why?
You're off balance. And when you're off balance,
you're open to one of these!
Hi-ya! [Grunts]
Lucky shot.
I didn't do anything. How's this going to help me make friends?
I see what you're doing. Mind games.
Well, mind games are no match for one of these!
[Grunts]
[Panting]
All right. Let's take a break.
I'm sure this is a lot of information for you to absorb.
I'm going to the vending machine.
I'll bring you back one of these!
[Grunts]
Well, we've learned 2 things here today.
You refuse to defend yourself,
and I need to double up on my protein shakes.
I'm never going to get any friends.
Not with that "kick me" sign still on your back.
Give me that.
"School talent show."
Huh. What is it?
I think I just figured out a way
for you to make some friends,
a way for you to impress everyone
and instantly become popular
in a single, dramatic moment.
You mean enter the talent show?
Oh, I was going to say
watch the talent show wearing a really cool jacket.
But entering the talent show--
that's a great idea.
Wow. You're lucky I thought of it.
Do you have any talents?
I could sing.
Ugh. No way. Singing's lame.
Come on. We can come up with something better than that.
Oh, wait. I forgot something.
To give you one of these!
[Screams]
Do you want restaurant-quality pizza in the comfort of your own home?
Hello. I'm Speedy Gonzales
of Speedy Gonzales's Pizzarriba
telling you that you can now enjoy my pizza in a frozen variety.
But don't take my word for it. Here's a real-life customer.
Ahem. What did you think, sir?
I like it.
Cut. [Beeps]
Pinky, you're overselling it.
I told you you could be in the commercial,
but you got to pull back.
You got to play real. Let's take it again.
[Beeps]
What did you think, sir?
I like it.
Nope. It's not working.
Señor Bugs, let me hear you say it again.
- I like it. - That's it! Perfect.
Sorry, pinky. There's just something about him,
a likeability factor. I mean,
this guy's ok...
But I want to party with this guy.
Let's take it again.
Hey, pinky, I'm sorry. Scooch to your left a little bit.
Little more.
How's this?
Perfecto.
Talent. It can't be taught.
It can't be bought. It can't be faked.
It just is. You dig?
- Do I dig what? - 2, 3, 4!
[Clicks]
[Salsa music playing]
No, no, no. [Music stops]
Back to one.
- Where's one? - 2, 3, 4!
[Salsa music playing]
Stop, stop, stop.
[Music stops]
You're doing it wrong.
It's a simple kickball change,
a shimmy to the right,
a shimmy to the left,
pivot, step, and head roll.
Was that so difficult?
I was thinking maybe I could sing at the talent show.
Are you out of your mind?
That is so lame!
I mean, do you know how girly and pathetic you'd look if you sang?
No, no, no. If you want friends,
you need to dance.
I'm not a dancer.
Well, you just keep telling yourself that.
This is just so frustrating!
There is a dancer inside of you.
Shame on you for not seeing it,
and shame on me for being the only one who does.
I need to cool off. I'm going to take five.
But not before I give you one of these!
Will you go make me a protein shake?
I'm Speedy Gonzales
of Speedy Gonzales's Pizzarriba telling you
that you can now enjoy my pizza in a frozen variety.
I like it.
And you will, too.
Speedy Gonzales's frozen pizza
in your grocer's freezer.
Huh. How much?
Oh, it's on the house.
You famous.
Honey, look. It's the "I like it" guy.
Oh!
"I like it" guy! Say it.
I like it.
Yeah!
I like it!
You probably get this all the time, but will you say it?
I'm kind of in a hurry.
Please? Just one time.
[Sighs] I like it.
Do you mind? Will you say it for my outgoing message?
- I like it. - Ooh! Wasn't recording.
One more time? I like it.
Whoo-hoo! I like it!
I'm not sure I like it.
[Siren chirps] Say it.
Yeah. You. "I like it" guy. Say it.
- I like it? - Classic.
[Siren]
This whole time, we've been focusing
on the talent part of the talent show.
But what about the show part?
[Engines rev]
You don't want me to juggle chainsaws, do you?
No. That would be ludicrous.
I want you to juggle chainsaws
that have been lit on fire.
Can't I just sing at the talent show?
No, you can't sing. [Smoke alarm beeping]
That would be a death sentence.
Run for our lives!
You saved my life. [Sirens wailing]
I'd like to repay you
by giving you one of these!
It's like those protein shakes are making me weaker.
My house!
Hey! Hey, it's the "I like it" guy!
You live here?
Say it!
My house is burning down!
That's not the line.
Turn on the water!
No. You remember.
The little mouse goes, "what do you think, sir?"
And you say...
I like it!
- Whoo-hoo! - Yeah!
[Laughter]
Hey, when you're done, can we get a picture?
[Engine shuts off] Well, this is it.
Good luck.
[Indistinct talking] [Brakes hiss]
This is the bus station. What about the talent show?
You can't go to the talent show!
You don't have a talent.
Here. Take this.
What's this?
Everything you need to start a new life--
fake passport, fake money,
and my fake number in case of emergency.
Fernando valenzuela, the baseball player?
The beloved baseball player.
Get ready to have tons of friends.
Please, just take me to the talent show.
[Groans]
Your funeral, Fernando.
[Engine starts]
[Cello and piano playing]
[Playing]
Psst. Hey. You're that guy.
Say it.
Shh. There's a kid onstage.
I know. It's my kid. Come on. Say it.
- No. - Just say it.
I'm not going to say it.
As a matter of fact, I'm never going to say it again. Ever.
Typical Hollywood jerk.
[Playing continues]
Oh, good. You haven't gone on.
I took this from the science lab.
I think they're scorpions.
I'm not sure what you should do with them.
Maybe eat them, let them run around on your face.
Something like that. [Applause]
- And now, our next contestant. - Wish me luck.
Wait! You forgot the scorpions!
I don't need them.
[Coughing]
That's my baby!
[Whistles]
What is she doing?
My name's gossamer, and I'm going to sing.
[Piano playing]
♪ The leaves are brown, came tumbling down ♪
♪ remember? ♪
♪ in September ♪
♪ in the rain ♪
♪ the sun went out just like a dying ember ♪
♪ that September ♪
♪ in the rain ♪
♪ to every word of love ♪
♪ I've heard you whisper ♪
♪ the raindrops seem ♪
♪ to play a sweet refrain ♪
♪ though spring is here ♪
♪ to me, it's still September ♪
♪ that September ♪
♪ in the rain ♪
[Music ends]
Yeah! [Giggles]
I like it.
[Cheering]
[Indistinct talking and laughter]
I can't thank you enough for helping my boy.
Yes, you can. You're a witch. You can do anything.
Come on. Wave your wand. Make me strong.
I want to be strong. Super strong!
With wings!
And give me 3-d vision!
Stay away from my son.
What's with the glass box full of sand?
- It's a scorpion tank. - Where are the scorpions?
[Screaming]
Something bit me!
[Engine revs] [Car alarm beeping]
[Screaming continues]
[Twangs]
[Clicks]
[Road runner approaching]
[Rattling]
Beep beep!
[Rattles]
[Rattling]
[Pops]
[Stretching]
[Wind whistling]
[Road runner approaching]
[Joints cracks]
[Crackles]
Beep beep!
[Off-key] ♪ ave Maria ♪
[Singing continues indistinctly]
So is this why you didn't want me to sing at the talent show?
It's just as painful in 3-d.
♪ Sync and correction by Mlmlte ♪ ♪ www.addic7ed.com ♪
Darling, I probably shouldn't be writing to you,
but I can't get you out of my mind.
That weekend we spent in the mart, was the most powerful experience of my life.
You were the most perfect man that was ever created,
and I must have you.
Uh, what are you doing?
Reading a letter.
That's not addressed to you.
Oh, is that a crime?
Yes. This is your mail.
Look, here's a 20 spot if you give me back the letter.
Bribing a government official is also a crime.
And is this counterfeit money?
What? You're gonna tell me that's a crime, too?
Last time I checked, I was living in America.
Ooh! Look over there!
[Screaming]
See what happens when you people don't let me read your mail?!
Soon as I can make a counterfeit passport,
I'm moving to Mexico.
Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com
A WED-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606
Restraining order. Medical bill.
Invitation to my high school reunion.
Another restraining order.
What are you throwing that out for?
You can't restrain me. I'm a free spirit.
Not that, the invitation to your high school reunion.
A bunch of people standing around
talking about their babies and their minivans?
Huh. Sounds thrilling.
You should be excited to go to your reunion.
You always said high school was the greatest time of your life.
Hmm, that's true.
High school was epic.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
There were 3 seconds left,
and everyone knew I was taking the last shot.
[Stammering] Hi, I'm P-P-Porky Pig.
Yeah, that's great.
I'm Daffy Duck, the guy who didn't ask.
So I get the ball. The clock starts ticking.
3, 2...Nothing but net.
[Girls giggling]
Daffy Duck gets all the pretty girls.
Is this seat taken?
No, it's right there. You're looking right at it.
Greetings.
I'm Marvin the foreign exchange student.
Oh. Where are you from?
Mars.
Well, ladies, I'd better get to class.
Those straight "a"s aren't going to make themselves.
[Girls giggling]
Hi, Daffy.
Well, aren't you sweet?
In fact, the only thing sweeter than you
is that cake over there.
Hey, cake for the lady!
You know what? Cake for everybody!
It's on me.
[Cheering]
Are you nerds enjoying the cake?
It's stupendous.
Yum!
Is that really on you?
No, it's on you!
[Laughing]
Daffy Duck! Daffy Duck!
Yech, I bet Porky's not going to the reunion.
But you were the big man on campus.
Why wouldn't you want to go?
Look at my life now.
I live in a dump. No offense.
I have a stupid roommate. No offense.
And I've piled up tons of credit card debt. No offense.
Why would I take offense to that?
Because I used your credit card.
The point is I peaked in high school!
At least you got to go to high school.
You didn't go to high school?
Let's just say my youth was unconventional.
What was so unconventional about your youth?
It's not important.
My unconventional, incomparable, inimitable youth
is not important. What is important
is that you attend this reunion.
Why do you want me to go to my reunion so bad?
Because you can. Don't you see?
You have the opportunity to do something I can only dream of:
Stand around with people you barely remember,
reminiscing about the big game,
senior prom, homework!
You're weird.
All right, the reunion's on Saturday,
which means you have a whole week to make something out of your life.
I can't make something of my life in 5 days.
You can with my help,
and a week is 7 days.
5. I'm not letting this cut into my weekend.
That's my "me time." I'll see you on Monday morning.
Eh, that's a little ambitious. Monday afternoon.
You know what? Nothing ever gets done on a Monday.
Let's start Tuesday, noon...
Ish.
This is you in high school, which I don't need to
I never got to go to.
And this is you now.
There's only 4 days until your reunion.
A reunion that I would love to attend, by the way.
So we don't have much time to get you from here to here.
How do we do it?
Hmm, let me think.
You've got to do something special, something admirable,
something heroic.
Like destroy the earth!
More like, I don't know, climb mount Everest?
[Gasps] That's it!
Everyone at the reunion would hail the conquering hero!
[Screams echoing]
[Hisses]
You know what? I can't climb mount Everest
because I don't have a winter jacket.
- You could buy. - Nope.
- You could borrow. - Nope.
I can't climb mount Everest
because I don't have a winter jacket.
Shame. Well, I think that was a good day one.
Same time tomorrow?
Probably not tomorrow.
I'm pretty blown out. Let's shoot for Thursday.
You know what? I have a thing on Thursday.
Friday, I swear. See you Saturday!
So when's this reunion again?
It's tonight.
What?! What have you been doing this whole time?
I guess I'm not going to my reunion.
We've got to go! I mean you've got to go.
And there's still something you can do
to impress everyone at the reunion.
And it's not destroy the earth.
Then what is it?
I'm ruining my manicure.
Give me your quarter.
I'm starting to think the odds of winning the lottery are pretty low.
[Gasps] Three sixes? Three sixes!
I won! I won the lottery! I'm rich!
We can go to your reunion!
I mean you can go to your reunion.
I'm so happy for you!
Happy and jealous! Mostly jealous!
Ha ha! I'm rich! I'm rich!
I knew I didn't peak in high school!
Daffy, you didn't get three sixes.
You were holding it upside-down.
You got three nines.
Besides, you were playing lucky eights.
This is hopeless.
Excuse me. Do you have a quarter for the parking meter?
No.
But you're holding a quarter.
What, this? This isn't a quarter.
That's not a quarter?
No. This is a fake.
I'm agent Jimmy Glass, and this is agent Ira Buttles,
and we're with the treasury department.
We're investigating a highly illegal counterfeit operation in the area.
I'm gonna need to see your wallet.
Oh! Uh, of course.
Yep, this one looks a little iffy.
Gonna have to run some tests. Now get out of here.
But keep your eyes and ears open!
That's it! I thought in order to go to the reunion,
you needed to be someone you're not: A success.
But it turns out you should just go
as someone you already are: A liar.
You want me to go to the reunion
and just lie about how successful I am?
That's a horrible idea!
I'm lying. It's a great idea.
Or was that a lie?
This lying could get out of control.
Or is that a lie?
The lying is in control!
Oh, brudder.
Well, after high school,
I just had to get away from it all,
get back to what's important: The land.
[Ding]
I've got about 30,000 acres in Montana.
[Ding]
Probably about 50,000 head of cattle.
[Ding]
That's about 2 heads of cattle per acre. Yeah.
[Ding]
I love a cattle drive.
[Ding]
Too much spitting.
I signed up after graduation.
I heard the call of duty, and I answered.
Oh, this?
What you call heroism, I call duty.
Believe me, when you're doing your duty,
you don't think about the fact that you're doing your duty.
It's your duty. You just do it.
You do your duty.
Too much saying the word "duty."
[Gruff voice] I'm Batman.
So what lie did you settle on?
One lie is too limiting.
It's gonna be a big reunion. I can tell a lot of lies.
That couldn't possibly backfire.
What are you saying?
Well, if I were you, I'd bring someone along
to help you keep track of all those lies.
But who would want to go to someone else's reunion?
Me! I want to go to your reunion!
You? Then why didn't you say something earlier?
[Music playing]
Just stay close.
The lies are about to get complicated.
Name?
Count Leopold Von Lichtenstein.
How do you spell that?
Bob Jones.
Well, which one is it?
Uh, both!
Eh, maybe ease into the lies.
This is him.
Phew, that was close.
Promise me you won't leave my side the rest of the night.
I promise.
[Gasps] Are those lockers?
Bugs! Bugs!
[Music playing]
♪ Party tonight ♪
[Siren]
♪ I say, I say, everyday I go out walkin' ♪
♪ all them ladies start to squawkin' ♪
♪ 'cause they know that I'm the coolest bird around ♪
[Hens sighing]
♪ Now, son, I've been to Paris on a boat with 50 sails ♪
♪ got thrown into the water, and I wrestled me a whale ♪
♪ 'cause I'm a bird of action, I don't just talk the talk ♪
♪ one thing about old foghorn, son ♪
♪ I'm the Cock of the Walk ♪
♪ I redesigned the Taj Mahal and painted every room ♪
♪ I drive a big ol' monster truck that runs on cheap perfume ♪
♪ I've won Olympic gold for every race I've ever run ♪
♪ and I got a nobel prize just for havin' too much fun ♪
♪ a tiger tried to eat me, but I punched him in the nose ♪
♪ I caught the loch ness monster and a flock of UFOs ♪
♪ Harvard hired me to be their number one head teacher ♪
♪ I won an Oscar for Best Rooster in an animated feature ♪
♪ I walk into the hen house, all the chickens start to squawk ♪
♪ You look at me, you're lookin' at the cock of the walk ♪
[Squawking]
♪ You look at me, you really see the ♪
♪ Cock of the Walk ♪
Bugs! Bugs!
Remember me? We were in homeroom together.
Oh, hey, Tanya. Long time no see.
Whatcha been up to?
Me? Oh, I, uh--uh--
- Are you married?
Married? Uh, yes, happily married.
Very happily married, to a model.
Wow. Any kids?
Two kids. Boy and a girl. Tegan and Cassidy.
Also models.
Gee. Well, it's great to see you.
It's great to see you, Tanya!
What was I so worried about? I don't need Bugs.
Heh heh! Elliot Howser.
Oh, Heidi Gardner.
Heh heh! Timmy Banket.
Friends of yours?
Oh, I don't know any of these people.
[Gasps] Andy Friedman.
Did you hear that Daffy Duck won a bronze medal at the Olympics?
[Gasps] I'm supposed to be keeping track of Daffy's lies!
And instead, I've been standing around drinking punch.
Well, I'm now the head of a very profitable non-profit organization.
I used to be a pro surfer,
but after the shark attack, I had an epiphany
and decided to dedicate my life to the betterment of society.
And I'm also a model.
Sorry, Daff. Ok, what lies have you told so far?
Bugs, relax. I've got this under control.
Really?
Easy breezy.
It's like stealing babies from a candy store.
Go enjoy the reunion.
I don't know. I think you might need my--
[Gasps] Is that somebody else's old algebra teacher?
Pete! Marvin!
What have you guys been up to?
Ohh. High school was a horrible time for me.
Therefore, I have spent every moment since graduation
plotting to destroy the earth.
Heh. I hope you have better luck with that than I did.
What about you, Pete?
Oh, I'm still waiting to graduate.
What about you?
I'm the starting quarterback for the Dallas cowboys.
I thought you said you owned the Dallas cowboys.
Oh, uh, yeah.
That's--uh, I--
- Well, which is it?
Uh...Uh... Ooh, look over there!
[Dance music playing]
Bugs!
Hi. I've heard you've become a famous movie star.
Can I have your autograph?
Oh, uh, sure.
I've never had my picture taken with an astronaut before.
Do you mind?
You're an astronaut, too?
Well, uh, before I was a movie star, I was--
- Batman, come quick! There's a break-in at the museum!
- Batman? - Batman?
Wait, are you saying this man, the President of Mexico,
is Batman?
[All talking at once]
[Music playing]
He's so cute.
I don't remember him from high school.
[Stammering] Bugs, wh-what are you doing here?
I'm here with Daffy. What are you doing here?
From the story I heard,
high school was pretty rough for you.
Rough? Ha ha ha ha!
High school was the greatest time in my life.
I'm surprised Daffy came.
Huh?
Porky!
Hey!
Excuse me, but do you remember Daffy Duck?
Who?
Daffy Duck. Come on, you gotta remember him.
He was the coolest guy at your high school.
Daffy Duck. You know, black feathers, big beak,
about this tall.
Oh! You mean Daffy Dork.
Ew, that guy was such a nerd!
[Both giggling]
I've been looking all over for you!
My web of lies has entangled me in a web of lies.
In high school, were you ever called Daffy Dork?
Daffy Dork?
Why would anyone call the coolest guy in high school Daffy D--[Gasps]
[Stammering] There were 3 seconds left,
and everyone knew I was taking the last shot.
Hi, I'm Daffy Duck.
Yeah, that's great. I'm the guy who didn't ask.
Now beat it.
Is this seat taken?
Cake for everybody! It's on me!
[Cheering]
Hey, nerd, are you enjoying the cake?
It's delicious. Is it really on you?
No, it's on you.
Daffy Dork! Daffy Dork! Daffy Dork!
[Laughing]
So this means I wasn't the big man on campus.
I was the big dork on campus!
Wow, I really am a liar.
And the greatest lie I ever told was to myself.
Wait! Don't you see? This is good news.
You'd thought you'd gone from here to here,
but it turns out you never went anywhere.
What's good about that?
It means you haven't peaked yet.
[Gasps] You're right.
You hear that, you losers?
I didn't peak in high school!
But you did! And you did!
And you certainly did!
Daffy, I've apologized a thousand times.
And you! You used to be the prettiest girl in school,
and now you're--
well, you're still very beautiful.
The point is you all peaked too soon.
Except for you. So long, jerks!
I'm off, and unlike you,
I have nowhere to go but up.
Aah!
Daffy Dork! Daffy Dork! Daffy Dork!
Daffy Dork! Daffy Dork! It's got a ring to it.
Daffy Dork! Daffy Dork!
[Bird cawing]
[Whoosh]
Beep! Beep!
[Roaring]
[Whooshing]
Beep! Beep!
[Thud]
[Rumbling]
[Whistle, thud]
[Squeak]
[Rumbling]
[Beeping]
I may have missed out on high school,
but I got to go to one heck of a high school reunion.
Oh! Home movies from my unconventional youth.
I haven't seen these in a while.
[Poignant music playing]
You were the President of Mexico?
Eh, interim.
You did all that instead of going to high school?
Do you know what this means?
[Laughing]
You peaked too soon!
[Laughing]
Meh, I don't think I peaked quite yet.
Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com
[Tires squeal]
A WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606
DAFFY: When normal people travel, they fly or drive, anything but this.
BUGS: It's not sanitary. It's Nostalgic.
Why don't you relax? You turn into a real maniac on these trips.
DAFFY: I am relaxed. I'm more relaxed than you'll ever be.
BUGS: It's not a competition.
It's a vacation.
DAFFY: Do you even know where we're going?
BUGS: I'm following the directions. GPS is never wrong.
DAFFY: I'm getting claustrophobic. BUGS: Here we are.
- Hmm. - Ahh!
Casa de Calma. The fanciest schmanciest resort on earth.
What, is "Casa de Calma" Spanish for "False Advertising"?
Eh, I think we're lost, doc.
Never buy a GPS from a vending machine.
[Splash]
Hey, isn't that your Uncle?
Hey, Daffy! It's me, Uncle...aah!
Uhh!
I've never seen that man before in my life. Let's go.
Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com
A WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606
Now this is more like it.
Surfing, scuba diving, sky diving, alligator wrestling, cliff jumping.
There's so many risky activities that require skills I don't have...
...I don't know where to start. Where's all your stuff?
I've got everything I need right here...
Mary Higgins Clark and my SPF 30.
I'm not gonna live like there's no tomorrow...
...I'm gonna lounge like there's no today.
[Woman giggles]
Oh, la la!
It's the famous Starlet, Starlett Johansson.
Ooh! She's mine! You hear me?
Mine! Mine! Mine! I'm the one who's always loved her!
I've seen all of her movies. I'm her biggest fan.
What's her name again?
Pbblt.
You think I should let that one slide?
Yeah, me, neither.
[Squeals]
If there's one thing women love, it's a guy who knows how to show off.
And snore. And chew with his mouth open.
That makes me a triple threat.
Behold masculinity personified.
Oh!
Aah!
[Splash]
Aah!
Ugh!
[Coughs]
[Birds chirping]
[Thud]
I should have started with the high dive.
Everybody knows you always start with the high dive.
[Gasps]
Nice try, rabbit.
But if you think you're gonna swoop in and steal the love of my life...
...whose name escapes me at the moment, then you are wrong.
R-O-N-G! Wrong!
Ahh. This is heaven.
Wait a second.
[Air hisses]
This is heaven.
Oh!
Ohh!
Carrot colada?
[Water bubbles]
[Giggles]
STARLET: Oh, stop it.
[Laughter]
I should have started with a platform.
First rule of charming a woman always dive from the highest point possible.
Second rule... do not [Gulp] Plummet to your death.
[Satellite beeping]
[Gulps, blabbering]
Swan position.
Into double gainer.
Into reverse triple gainer.
Jackson's pipe.
This is the greatest dive ever done. Assume entry position.
And nailed it!
That's impressive, doc. Not a single splash.
What happened to the water?
Oh, is that what this does?
[Giggles]
Uhh. Unh!
Wanna play a round of golf?
You mean the world's most boring game? No thanks, grandpa.
- Wanna play a round of golf? - I thought you said it was boring.
Boring? It's not boring.
- It's the Sport of Kings. - That's tennis.
- It's America's past time. - That's baseball.
- It's the city by the bay. - That's San Francisco.
You say potato, I say... well, I say potato, too.
Does anyone say "pot-ah-to"? I mean, really, who says that?
Name one person who says "pot-ah-to." You can't. Because no one says it.
No one on earth says "pot-ah-to." So this is a mute point.
It's moot.
You say potato, I say pot-ah-to.
Ugh.
Mmm.
Just hit the darn ball!
Do you mind? You're ruining my concentration.
Hurry up and concentrate. Why aren't you concentrating?
Concentrate! Oh, forget it!
- Great shot. Let's go. - What about your shot?
From here? Are you crazy?
[Starlet giggling]
Oh. Heh.
[Engine revving] Oh!
Daffy, what where you're going!
I know what I'm doing!
Sand? What's sand doing in the middle of a golf course?
It's like some kind of trap.
[Engine revving]
More lounging around? Is that what we need right now?
What do you need? This?
I'll send you a postcard from our honeymoon!
He was a good man.
Eh, who am I kidding? He was a man.
Who am I kidding? He was a duck.
[Gasping]
What's water doing in the middle of a golf course?
It's like some kind of hazard.
You think you're gonna get her?
Well, you haven't seen the last of...
I'll send you a postcard from our honeymoon.
Yoo-hoo. Mind if I join you?
I seem to have lost my partner.
[Giggles]
Ohh.
Ahh, a castle fit for a king.
Ha! Sand castles?
You think you're gonna impress what's her name with sand castles?
Ha. Kid stuff.
Have you ever even talked to a girl?
Why bother? Talk is cheap. Ladies love action.
The bigger and dumber the better. That's why you're taking me parasailing.
Don't go too fast or too slow.
Aah!
- Are you nuts? - Sorry, my mistake.
They should really label these buttons more clearly. I'll try another one.
Aah!
[Muffled scream]
Uhh! Uhh! Aah!
Wow, I'm flying. I'm like a bird.
Wait, I am a bird. I'm like a plane.
Hey, good-lookin', what's...cookin',
'cause it smells like...
You're staring at some love stew.
You know what I think you should do?
I'll tell you right after the boat turns around.
I think you should give... Me a great big...
Glass of ginger ale 'cause I'm...
...getting sick of going back...and forth.
Blah!
Wah!
Yeech!
Ugh.
Come on, whatever your name is...
...point your looking balls at your future ex-husband.
You dumb famous actress!
Uhh!
[Groans]
Gah!
[Cracks neck]
Ok, I'm ready to get down now.
What's that? You want a pet clown?
You're kind of old for clowns aren't you, doc?
DAFFY: I wanna get down!
Sorry, doc, you'll have to speak up.
Put me on the beach!
Well, all you had to do is ask.
Aah!
[Birds chirping]
Eh, keep an eye out for any paparazzi.
[Camera clicks]
♪ Down in juarez, Mexico ♪
♪ in a small adobe house ♪
♪ Rosalita Gonzalez gave birth ♪
♪ to a handsome little mouse ♪
♪ the whole town came to celebrate ♪
♪ the baby being born ♪
♪ but when they got back home they found ♪
♪ that all the cheese was ♪
♪ gone ♪
♪ you will only hear the breeze ♪
♪ when he comes to steal your cheese ♪
♪ Queso Bandito ♪
Aha!
♪ He'll set fire to the street ♪
♪ with his tiny mousy feet ♪
♪ to the Mariachi beat ♪
♪ Queso Bandito ♪
♪ do not leave your cheese unattended ♪
♪ cheddar, monterey Jack, or blended ♪
♪ I will sneak inside of your pueblo ♪
♪ relieve you of all your manchego ♪
♪ careful not to take a siesta ♪
♪ you will have no cheese ♪
♪ for fiesta ♪
[Cheering]
♪ Always chased by the federales ♪
♪ so they ate too many tamales ♪
♪ they can't catch me if they try ♪
♪ here outrun them every time ♪
♪ Queso Bandito ♪
Aha!
This is your idea of a fun vacation activity?
- Doing nothing? - It's not just doing nothin'.
It's doing nothin' with new age music playing in the background.
You gonna eat your salad?
Wow, look! It's that lady I'm in love with!
[Heart thumping]
Maybe a beauty day is just what I need.
Beauty day? You need a month just for your eyebrows.
[Both sigh]
Joe? I don't want a massage from Joe.
You take him. Off you go.
I want Leslie.
You must be Leslie.
[Straining]
No, I'm Josephine. Joe for short.
Well, then who's Leslie?
I'm Leslie. Where do you hold your stress?
[Grunting]
You're like one big knot.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
[Grunting]
[Sighs]
[Grunting]
- [Groaning] - [Sighing]
[Groans, growls]
[Sighs]
The only thing better than doing nothing to new age music...
...is doing nothing to new age music in a 160-degree sauna.
It's not hot enough. My back is killing me.
Put more heat on!
What's the magic word?
- I'm dyin'! - Sorry.
The correct answer was "please."
I also would have accepted "shazam."
[Growls] Give me that!
If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
[Coals sizzling]
Unh!
Eureka! I'm cured!
Ack.
Gotta hand it to those minerals. I look like a kid again.
Check out that tail like cotton candy.
Well, time's up, doc. You better get out.
Oh, no. I'm gonna soak in these minerals...
...until I'm so young and cute, what's-her-face will have no choice...
...but to fall in love with me.
Suit yourself.
[Crickets chirping]
The Butler's Butler did it, huh?
Mary Higgins Clark, you've done it again.
[Gasps] I just remembered something!
[Gasps]
Do I look younger?
♪ La da da dee ♪
♪ da dee dee dee doo ♪
♪ la da da da ♪
♪ la da da da dee ♪
Mm, good looking and great with kids?
And I cook, too.
[Giggles]
Even you wouldn't hit a baby.
[Wind gusting]
[Squeaking]
Beep! Beep!
[Thud]
[Blowing]
[Tires squeal]
[Thud]
[Birds chirping]
"Please take care of me."
[Gasps] Mama!
Looks like we got us another mouth to feed!
Aw, ain't he precious? Give him here so's I can hug him.
But I want to hug him. I found him.
Oh, you cutie...
[Exhales]
They get a baby...
And I get a babe.
[Giggling]
Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com
A WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606
Inside this cage
Is the most ferocious animal on the planet.
If it gets out,
don't bother calling for help.
You won't have time.
So if you value your life,
You'll keep the cage locked.
Never remove this lock.
Any questions?
Nope!
Hey, mister,
You forgot your lock!
Reupload and correction by jasonnguyen2606 www.addic7ed.com
Captioning made possible by Warner Bros. Animation
Season 1 Episode 8 "Devil Dog"
Original Air Date: June 21, 2011 on Cartoon Network
Sleep well?
Why?
Are you implying that I wet the bed?
Uh, you get the paper, I'm gonna get coffee.
Are you implying that I don't know how to make coffee?
You don't know how to make coffee.
Hmphh.
Another boring day in the suburbs.
[Growling]
[Cats screeching]
[Roaring]
Didn't you get the paper?
Do you know how to do anything around here?
Don't open that!
There's a wild animal out there!
It's a dog!
That is no dog!
It's a dog.
Aw. Are you lost, Poochie?
[Growling]
Maybe he belongs to one of our neighbors.
He's a wild animal.
He can't possibly belong to one of our neighbors.
Well, then maybe we should keep him.
But what if he belongs to one of our neighbors?
but did you lose a pet?
[Growling]
Lose a bet?
Oh, I don't gamble.
I mean, I'll buy a lottery ticket now and then.
No, no, not a bet.
A pet.
We found this dog.
Oh, you found my clog.
Oh, thank goodness.
I've been looking everywhere for it.
Oh, brother.
Forget the clog.
What she really needs is a hearing aid.
Cheering maid?
What's a cheering maid?
You know, a cheering maid.
It's basically a cheerleader who cleans your house,
sometime they get cheering formation
They wore a cute, little pleated skirts
that can double as mocks
[Slurps and chuckles]
I taw I taw a Tasmanian Devil!
Nice try, bird.
[Roars]
I did!
I did see a Tasmanian Devil!
Yaaahhh!
[Panting] Daffy: Come on, lady! Cheering maid!
They whash the food with there ponies tails
They chance the angle fariest cleaning product ,
They vacuum your floor while dating a captain in your football team
They do W-I-N-D-O-W-S. Windows
Windows!
They dry your laundry by wetting up the flag.
You know, cute little girls the names like Cindy, Margie, Britney, Molly and Britney.
with their toothy little smile and feather duster.
What don't you understand?
They're real energetic,
things pom poms instead of sponges,
Wait!
Why are we still talking about cheering maids?
Is this your dog or not?
Do I do the fox trot?
Oh, why, yes, of course!
Oh, yes!
[Singing to herself]
You know what?
Let's just keep the mangy beast,
Because I can't take another second of this.
You hear that, boy?
You got a new home.
[Chainsawing] [Woman screaming on TV]
[Growling] [Woman continue screaming on TV]
Aah!
Not my recliner!
Aww. He must be hungry.
[Screams on TV]
You stay here and keep an eye on Poochie
while I go get him some dog food.
Say, now that I think about it,
He's going to need a dog bowl, too.
And a dog collar,
and a dog leash,
[Car door close] And a dog bed.
[Engine start]
[Gasp] Oh, maybe a little dog sweater.
All right, you filthy beast.
Drop it!
[Growls and roars]
Mother!
Easy, boy.
Easy.
Sorry if the filthy beast remark came off as a little harsh.
I meant it as a compliment.
You know, like, "look at that filthy beast!
I like to party with that guy!"
[Continue growls]
Oh, come on.
You don't want to hurt me.
I'm a sweet guy.
Not sweet as in delicious.
Just sweet as in my personality.
Everyone who knows me says I'm extremely tender.
Ah, I mean, you know, tender and nice.
Not like my meat is tender.
Although duck meat is one of your more tender meats.
Oh, no! I've said too much!
[Roaring]
Yeoww!
Ahhh!
[Dialing rapidly] Animal control,
there's a monster in my house is trying to kill me!
[Screaming]
[Whimpering] [Smashing around the house outside]
[Roars]
[Screaming]
What are you doing out here?
You're supposed to be watching Poochie.
Poochie is a psychotic monster!
He hunted me like I was his prey!
If you don't want to watch the dog, just say so.
You can't go in there. It's a death sentence.
We gotta sell the house, start out new!
This neighborhood's a bummer anyway!
Wait!
Since this is the last time I'm ever going to see you alive,
There's a few things I need to tell you.
Remember that time someone ate all your Halloween candy
And I said it must have been aliens?
It was me.
And remember that time someone ordered all those pay per view movies
And I said it was aliens?
That was me, too.
And remember that time you were abducted by aliens
and I insisted it was me?
I lied.
It was aliens.
Poochie, I'm home...
[Bugs Bunny screaming]
A gruesome tragedy's going to make it a lot harder to sell this house.
Ah! My glamour shot!
Ah! My tennis trophy!
Ah! My glamour shot of my tennis trophy!
No!
Hey!
What's going on out here?
We're trying to celebrate my niece's quinceaٌera.
It's a special day and you're ruining it.
Now, please, Seٌor Bunny, keep it down.
Tchoo.
What is that thing?
He's my dog.
Woof. If you say so.
But that's one ugly dog.
How did you do that?
I simply asserted my place as the alpha dog.
Sit.
See? He's calm,
because now he knows I am not afraid of him.
Down.
Roll over.
You see?
You need to be the alpha dog to him.
Alpha dog, huh?
One disclaimer...
this stuff works on dogs.
And...
I'm still not convinced is that's a dog.
What is wrong with everyone?
He's obviously a dog.
Tchh.
Good boy.
Oh, a dog salon.
You've been such a good boy today.
You deserve a little pampering.
Have you seen this animal?
He's very dangerous.
If you see him, call the zoo immediately.
How may I help you?
We'll take the puppy pamper package, please.
We're very busy.
The Worstminster Dog Show is tonight.
As you can see, every dog who's any dog is here getting ready.
In that case,
maybe I should enter my dog.
Well, if you're competing, I can certainly squeeze you in...
Oh, my!
What is that?
That's my dog.
[Chuckles]
Sir, I hate to be the bearer of obvious news,
But that is not a dog. Hmm?
What did you just say?
I said that thing is not a dog.
Hmm?
For your information,
that is a dog.
He may not be the prettiest dog.
He may not be the most refined dog.
But my dog has something that no other dog in here has.
[Crashes]
And that is class.
And I'll prove it to you.
Because my dog's going to win The Worstminster Dog Show.
And by the way,
your salon is a dump.
Come on, Poochie. You want to win a trophy?
Oh, what a cute doggie.
Let me get a good look at you.
I've never seen such a cute dog.
What a good boy.
Well, I can't think of anything else to tell you.
Have a good day!
Oh, the excitement is palpable here at the Worstminster Dog Show.
Pray tell, who do you think is going to win?
I think that one. Oh, no, maybe that one.
Oh, no, wait, I didn't see that one.
Oh, you do know there can only be one winner, right?
Well, I guess that's why the excitement is so palpable!
[Both laughs] Oh, dear.
I'm here for my mani-pedi.
Sir, I've told you before...
this is a salon for dogs.
Fine!
I wouldn't be caught dead in here anyway.
Your salon is a dump.
It's not our fault!
Some rabbit came in here with a wild beast
Claiming he was going to enter him in the Worstminster Dog Show.
Bugs.
And people say I'm the crazy one.
What a joke.
I have a better chance at winning a Dog Show then that thing.
Tasmanian Devil?
Danger?
Savage killer?!
I've got to warn Bugs!
Guitar lessons?!
[Gasp]
[Playing guitar]
[Gasp] I gotta warn Bugs!
I'm coming to save you, Bugs!
Ooh, hoo-hoo, oooh, oooh!
Oh, souvenirs!
Up next,
Bugs Bunny and his dog Poochie.
I'm coming to save you, Bugs!
Bugs!
Bugs, look!
You want me to take guitar lessons?
Not that! This.
Poochie's not a dog!
He's a Tasmanian Devil!
What's a Tasmanian Devil?
A wild beast whose insatiable hunger for violence and destruction,
Combined with his sharp teeth and claws
Make him the perfect
killing machine!
Killing machine!
[All people screaming]
Poochie!
[Helicopter flying] [Sirening]
Aaah! Over there!
[Guns clicks]
Run for your life!
Panic!
Every man for himself!
Women and children last!
Aha!
He's under here!
What are you doing?!
Saving your life.
My life isn't in danger, but now his is.
But he's a wild animal.
He's a monster!
Have you ever heard the expression
"don't judge a book by it's cover"?
- No. - What about, "it's what's inside that counts."
- Uh-uh. - "looks can be deceiving".
- Doesn't ring a bell. - What's wrong with you? - Oh!
That one I've heard.
The point is,
He may be a Tasmanian Devil,
But he's also the best dog I've ever had.
[Feedback] Seal all the exits!
I've gotta get him out of here, but how?
Put this on.
Thanks, doc.
Don't mention it.
I mean, I will.
Whenever it benefits me.
[Blabbing]
I'm a Tasmanian Devil!
There he is, get him! [Guns clicks]
Aahhh!
[Gasp]
Freeze!
There's a dangerous animal in there.
You make sure you get him home safe.
That's exactly what I plan on doing.
Well, Poochie,
I guess this is it.
I wish I could keep you,
But this is where you belong.
So long, buddy.
Tcch!
Go.
Oooh.
Hmm.
Oh! Do you have a dog?
I used to.
Poochie?
Hang on, boy. We're going home.
[Whooshing] [Beeping rapidly]
[Beeps]
[Beeping rapidly]
[Whooshing]
[Clank]
[Clanking]
[Blow raspberry]
[Thud]
[Rumbling]
[Spit]
[Teeths shattered]
Uh-oh!
The call on the field Is illegal use of the hands and...
Ah-ah-ahem!
Beat it!
...Put the ball on the 44 yard line.
[Groans]
Do not make me use this!
[Groan]
Tshawww!
Tchooyyy!
Tchewww!
I prefer the couch, anyway.
Reupload and correction by jasonnguyen2606 www.addic7ed.com
Hearing Impaired added by jasonnguyen2606
[WB shield open]
[Snaring]